GRADUATION

Yes, I am an official BBA graduate now. One day passed since it happened. This is the best feeling. I feel proud. I feel great. I am in the cloud nine today. I am excited. The black robe draped over my body and the black hat on my head glorified the moment even better. But at the same time, I am nervous- nervous about 'what next?'. I feel emotional. But for some time, let me have the best feeling to have achieved something.

You may say being a graduate is not a big deal, there are thousands of students graduating every year and millions have graduated until now. I am well aware of that fact. Also, I know that this is just the beginning. The real challenge starts now. But you don't know what this graduation means to me, one who had never expected to excel academically to this level.
I was not a good student in my school days, and I had never expected to come this far or achieve what I have achieved (until) now. I guess this is how it works. Time changes everything. This graduation is a reward for my 18 years of educational journey. Similar to real life journey, my educational journey was a mix of ups and downs, highs and lows, and best and worst moments. Today I feel very nostalgic and remember my last 18 years of academic pursuits. 12 years at school, 2 years at high school, and 4 years at college not only rewarded me scholastic achievements but also shaped me to who I am today.

The journey started with writing the first English alphabet correctly; I don't remember clearly but I can imagine how difficult it might have been for my mom to teach me (how) to do it, and how tough it might have been to learn to spell my own name. I remember, how embarrassing it was to have forgotten "क ख ग..." And those mathematical numbers- Oh! They were my enemies from the very beginning. Learning the difference between greater than (>) and less than (<) signs, those figured number-line problems, and HCF and LCM scared the hell out of me. And these were nothing compared to 'Simplification' problems. After finally learning simple addition and subtraction, a monster was waiting for me- 'BODMAS' rule. The only feeling I had at that point of time was- "Why on earth do I have to learn these monster rules?" Who would have known, at that point of time, Maths would be my favorite subject by the time I reached higher classes. However, geometry still haunts me!

I still remember the days when I used to pray that I did not have to go to school since I would not have completed my assignments because I was too busy being lazy. I used to hate doing assignments. While my brother and sister used to wake up the whole night to complete their respective assignments, I used to lie down with all my books open and used to dream having some kind of magic that would complete all my assignments at the click of a finger. The memories of those carefree days are still vivid. I recall how carefree I used to be when my friends joined me in the punishment for not having done the assigned tasks, and how guilty I used to feel when I was the only student to not have done those tasks just because I could not miss my favorite cartoons or series the day before.

The first time I failed in my terminal examination was in class 8. I was too scared to show my result to my parents. And finally when I had revealed the 'one-day secret' to mommy and Ashu didi, I remember how badly they cried. Maybe the tears were not because I failed but because all those dreams they might have seen for me were shattered into pieces by my failure marks.

                                                                                                                               

It was like a routine for my siblings to come home with happy faces and for me to return home with a sad and crying face on the result day. Also, my promise to improve myself from next time was a usual thing. My parents were used-to this habit of mine. Mommy was always worried about my performance, but baba was just the opposite. I don't know why he always believed in me. He used to say- "Just wait and watch, Aayu will improve eventually." Even I did not have this confidence upon myself.

I did not wish much regarding my results. I just wanted first division marks in the final terminal examination. That was my only goal. However, I had wished and put a high degree of effort during SLC to score distinction marks. Alas! I could not score distinction marks and was limited to my all time favorite division- First. I was heart-broken at that time. I cried for so many days and nothing could comfort me. The desperation for scoring distinction was not over till 11's result. It was only then when I started realizing score/ grades are nothing compared to what you have learnt that keeps you going.

High School days brought lots of changes within me. A carefree, lazy and irresponsible Aayu was turning into just the opposite. Completing the assigned tasks, night studies, and interest towards lessons started becoming synonym to me. I guess two years without Mommy was the reason behind these changes. High School days passed within the blink of an eye. All those days I was changing, changing for good.

The next step in my academic pursuits was Bachelor's degree. After High School, things changed so fast that today, as I look back, I feel like everything was pre-planned. I feel I was destined to be there. In last four years I experienced moments that I had not even dared to dream. LACM was indeed a life changing experience for me. Getting awarded scholarship, being the topper, dancing on the stage, presenting in front of a number of people, going on picnics and tours, and lot more. Last four years were all about tears- tears of victory and loss, tears of best times and sad times, tears of closeness and departure, tears of being a child again, tears of maturity, tears of being carefree, and tears of becoming responsible. Moreover, it was all about happiness and sadness.

All these years have been about leaning and growing up. I neither regret worst experiences nor do I boast about the best ones. Graduation is not an end but just a beginning. This is a life-long journey of learning and I wish to continue to do this. Today I want to thank everyone who has been a part of this journey, my family, friends, teachers, and everyone else. This journey would be impossible without you. This graduation is dedicated to you all.

12-12-2014 at Kathmandu University, Dhulikhel