Snappy Filters!

Snapchat! The first time I tried to install the app in my old mobile, the process was not successful. “Not enough space” I got notified. First thing I did after the notification was: empty cache, and then delete photos and videos, but there was still not enough space. So I uninstalled other apps. Finally, Snapchat was installed in my mobile. But, but, but, I had no idea how to use it. My less-than-five megapixel camera was already a problem in a normal camera, so forget about the camera on Snapchat. I could not recognize myself, I don't think the app even tried. I do not even want to touch upon the case of malfunctioning that was almost non-existent in my mobile until then. Not even a single filter was supported by my Jelly-bean android software. So, I just added few people from my contact list and uninstalled the app after a few minutes.

The next time I installed the app in my mobile was just a few months ago. This time I installed it in my new mobile which happily installed the app in the first attempt. However, I still had no idea to use it. I could find no filter. I searched everywhere for those filters but could not find them. I was about to uninstall the app again, but it was right then when I found the way to use those filters. Then began my Snapchat journey, and as the saying goes, the rest is HISTORY!!

Frankly speaking, three months with Snapchat has not made me a fan of it because I still do not get it, how someone has the ability to realize to post videos and photos in the middle of having fun in your birthday party or wedding or watching a movie or listening to your favorite band play your favorite song or someone else’s funeral. Rest in peace to the old times’ way of making memories, not obsessing about posting in the middle of something fun or serious! Nevertheless, I cannot thank Snapchat enough for all its filters! It’s all the magic of those filters that make me visit the app often. Else, I would have not bothered to keep the app still in my mobile keeping in mind that I must be the least interested person in others’ personal life. Well, not all the time since sometimes I wait for at least 10 minutes for a video to load and finally watch it just to find out that it’s about my sister’s landlord’s cats having their breakfast.

Anyways, in this post, I would like to welcome you all to the realm of my bizarre thoughts about what I feel about Snapchat filters. Every time I use those filters, I have an overwhelming amount of mixed feelings towards those filters. This post is just about those feelings towards few filters.

Kids, this is how karma works! The other day I tortured the water by boiling it to 100 degrees centigrade. The next day I woke up to these swollen lips. I knew I should not have boiled water; I always had the idea that water did not like being boiled. I mean one can easily imagine the pain of water sitting in a confined bowl and heating itself up in such extreme temperature, maybe crying out loud to stop the torture! Oh, the unfathomable pain of the water almighty! 

This is my favorite filter, by the way!

My uncle and my grandfather visit us sometimes. I must tell you the degree to which my face resembles theirs is uncanny. Their face minus the mustache and gray hair and of course their rugged handsomeness: me. *Tadaa*

        My grandfather and my uncle! See, I told you!

I always wanted someone who would call me his pumpkin. Apparently, there are many of them now. After this happened! 

Oh, wait! Is that watermelon? Damn!

They say dreams come true sometimes. For me, dreams usually come true right away. Firstly, I was a pea and then a strawberry, and then a ready-to-eat popcorn in my dreams. Came true every single time!! I wish to dream about turning into a mango. At least that would make me happy.

One of the best moments of my life was when I turned into Queen bee. I kept thinking to myself, “So this is what it feels to be like Beyonce. Queen bee in the land of bees.” Hmm… I kinda liked it. Buzz…

You see, in the year 2017, and on the day 14^th March I found the long lost brother of Einstein. But he did not seem elated to be found.

He looks sad :(

It almost took me by surprise when they called out my name as the winner for Best Actress in the Oscars 2017. I could hardly believe it. And trust me the audience had weird expressions on their faces after hearing the strange name for the first time in that stage. Whatsoever, there was a loud applause for a new face. I was already in tears and in the middle of my acceptance speech. But it was right then when they announced the legitimate winner. Dammit! I should have realized that earlier since I had no roles in Hollywood this year. Nevertheless, I am happy for Emma. Well, if not me then at least her. Plus, Kimmel apologized to me in person. So yeah, I am back to square one. 

             Glad to have attended the Oscars!

Someone told me that there was a way to find out more about your previous human life. So I did some research, read this and that, and spent some more time on Snapchat, and Eureka! Turns out that I was a warrior from 300 BC fighting for China! I have no idea what that war was. But I do know that I did not look good back then either. However, I am glad to have discovered about my past. I am able to make sense of all those strange connection with China. Hmm… 

       That's my "happy to have won the war" face

The un(detach)able(s)! I’m stuck with these flowers on my head. I look like a fool who has no idea of gardening. Yesterday my mom asked me to join her to the temple. Later did I realize that all she wanted was flowers from this mobile garden on my head. 

Follows like a shadow!

Some more:

Say hello to my twin and our mirror images.

Could anyone be more adorable than this? I don’t think so.

Yuh-huh! Looks like I just got a competitor.

When you are a certified couch potato.

When Snapchat gets drunk!

When you laugh so hard that you lose almost 25% of your face.

When you wake up with no makeup on.

While you waited for the glass of water you asked your brother to fetch for you from the kitchen some 920 years ago.

Evolution. I bet even Dr. Ross Gellar could not have explained it this better.

When your best friend forgets to tag you in “Tag your best friend” post.

When your alien doppelganger is an environmentalist! "Go Green" she believes in.

When your cousins say, “Party starts in five minutes”, and you are like “I’m ready to go” in less than half a minute.

When you had too much cups in the last night party and all you do today is throw-up cups. “I am never having cups again!”

Too tired always!!

Now I am tired in real. I better go now. See you all soon.

Oh and write to me if you feel the same about these filters. *ting* *ting*